||[Feb. 26th, 2005|03:10 am]
Roman (like the Empire)
|||||I want you wishing something that might come true.||]|
I don't know what to do.
Those bastards at MIT rejected me today. I refuse to believe that there were 200+ applicants who were better qualified than I. No fucking way.
At the moment, that leaves me with a single option: UCLA. They have an excellent program and all that bullshit, but do I want to move to LA? I admit that I've only been there a few times (besides having been born in the LBC), but to me it seems like a pretty decrepit town. I don't know why.
Do they have trampolines in LA?
So www.PhDs.org has a page where they will give you customized rankings of graduate programs according to criteria that you decide upon. When I do so, UCLA is always ranked first or second among mathematics programs. Yale, my "first choice," is somewhere in the forties. UMCP is somewhere in the upper teens.
I suppose I could apply to UMCP, but their program doesn't appeal to me that much. Baltimore is a lovely town, though, and I could continue drawing my paychecks. I have grown accustomed to my pay, which allows me to shower myself with lavish dictionaries.
And my entire meager support network is in this town. I don't have many close friends, but I do have some, and they all live here or near here or will soon be living in England anyway. I would miss you all. Perhaps I would never see you again. That thought makes me immeasurably sad. This sad: [ ]. That's sad, sad, terrible emptiness in there.
I would love to work for Google. They're in California. I could also work in sunny La Jolla over the summers, if they'd have me. That would kick ass. (Or even for my current employer. Would they have me? Could I convince them that they should throw gobs at money for me to go to UCLA? Almost certainly not.)
Part of me still wants to pick up a master's in math and go to Cambridge for the Ph.D. A large part of me. But that might just be the part of me that wants to run away from all of my problems.